On the fourth of July, I played cornhole and got talked into subbing on a co-ed softball team. It was only the next day that I tried to remember the last time I played softball and realized it was probably about... 25 years ago (fastpitch, in high school).
So, the boys (my husband included) and I went to the school down the street to play catch and hit some balls around. I did all right. I was still nervous, but not as nervous as I was at first.
And then yesterday, game day, came around and all day, nervous was my middle name.
They ended up having enough women after all, so I only had to play in the field (right field, thank goodness) a couple of times. I fielded one ball, and while it could have been better, it wasn't too bad.
But the hitting. Oy. They played the wheel, which means everyone hit, whether you were playing in the field or not. I'm sure they are regretting this decision now. The first time, I hit a pop fly somewhere in the infield. I don't know exactly, because I did what you're supposed to do. I didn't watch the ball, I ran as hard as I could to first base. Everyone was impressed with how fast I ran, which is good. No one was impressed with that hit.
The second time, it was the last inning. Our team was behind. We had two outs. And it was my turn to bat. I told myself I would not swing. Chances were good I would walk, because it was the end of the game and he was probably getting tired, plus I'm short, which means my strike zone is small.
Well, when it got to be two balls and two strikes, I had to swing. I didn't want to strike out, and I was really afraid that's what would happen. The result?
Another pop fly in the infield. ARGH. First thing I thought of when I woke up? That stupid pop fly that ended the game.
I've been trying to figure out how to spin the game so I'm not looking at myself so negatively. And really, what I need to focus on, is that I went out there and played even though I was terrified. Yes, I played badly. But I played. And next time (if there is a next time - co-ed softball is WAY more intense than I thought it would be), hopefully I will play a little better and a little better after that.
I also think it was fun to be part of a team, all working toward something. It was fun to get out and do something really different, something I don't do every day. I've been working hard on revisions, spending hours every day at the computer, and for a good two hours, I did not think about writing ONCE!! When I'm walking, when I'm jogging, when I'm doing dishes or laundry, I almost always think about writing, even if I'm trying to take a break from the writing.
So, maybe I was a lousy softball player. I played! I survived!! Sometimes, when we stretch out of our comfort zone, that might be all we can say when it's over. But it's actually no small thing!