Getting past the fear to begin

In April I went to a retreat outside of Austin, Texas, in the lush, rolling hills. I'd been toying with a book idea for a while, an idea that would be different from anything I'd ever written. I was so afraid to begin. I think it's one of the hardest things for a writer - going from idea to story and putting words on paper.

Sometimes the idea seems too good to be true, and we're afraid we'll ruin it.
Sometimes the idea is too vague and we worry it will fizzle out once we start writing.
Sometimes the idea feels bigger than we are, and we're not sure we have what it takes to write it.

But as I sat in a quiet, sunny spot with my journal, the trees whispering encouragement, I realized I was in exactly the right place to start this story that scared me so much. I had time and space and room to breathe. I could immerse myself in those early chapters and see what might come of them. I could let the characters lead me where they wanted to go and wherever it was, it would be okay because that is what a writing retreat is for: to write and to explore.

And so I wrote. I wrote 25 pages or so, and then I came home and had to put it away for a while but over the summer, I kept working and working. I had hoped I'd have a draft by September, but that didn't happen. So I wrote in September. And I wrote in October. And finally, a couple of weeks ago, I finished the draft.

I'm revising now, reading over printed out pages, marking them up, trying to figure out what's missing, what doesn't ring quite true, and on and on. I don't know if or when it will sell, although I hope it does someday. What I do know is that after I read a scene today, it brought tears to my eyes. And then, I thought back to those magical trees, and I'm just so glad I took that first scary step and started writing.

We don't always get to write in such a gorgeous spot, I know. Although I think the universe is happy to give out words of encouragement wherever we are, if we just take a moment and listen for them. I wish they were as loud as the words of doubt always seem to be, but they're not. So get quiet and listen, and remember, there can be no ending unless there is a beginning.

Good news/Bad news

Good news: I am about ready to send my revised YA manuscript off to my editor. It feels like all I've done for the past month is work on this book. I hope I can share more about this project soon - I don't even have a title yet.

Bad news: I still worry it's not good enough. I've never been this worried about a book before, and I'm not sure what that means exactly.

Good news: I had a fabulous time on a writing retreat this past weekend in Midway, Utah. It is so beautiful there, and these ladies are so fun to hang out with. From left to right, top to bottom, Irene Latham, Rachel Hawkins, Emily Wing Smith, Mr. Moose, Lindsey Leavitt and me.

Bad news: It was like the calm before the storm. Last night the dog hurt her leg running down the stairs and I have to take her in for an x-ray today. Freshman son wants to go out for track and I just learned he has to get a physical before he can start practice next Monday. I have to have some dental work done tomorrow. And I swore I'd get started on taxes this week. I hope our bank account can survive all the madness. And me too, of course.

Good news: Some exciting news is in the works. 

Bad news: I can't say anything about it yet.

I've missed you all! Hope everyone is doing well. 

Writing Retreat 2011

I have known Lindsey Leavitt for a long time. Years and years. We met on Verla's message boards, and swapped our boyish middle grade novels, and I fell in love with her sweetness and sense of humor. I knew she had talent and it would just be a matter of time before she was published. It's not just her writing I love though. I ADORE Lindsey, and am so blessed to call her my friend.

But back to her books. I can still remember when she sent me the first chapter of Princess For Hire. She wanted to know if she should keep writing, and what did I think of it? What did I think of it??? Oh my gosh - so cute, so funny, so good!! Write it, I told her in ten different ways. And write it she did.

And then, there was Sean Griswold's Head. I fell in love with Sean as I read the manuscript. I have an ARC I'm reading now, and it's so fun to see the story I loved years ago transformed into a real book! And lucky you, I'm going to give it away next week. Trust me people, you want to read this book. It's fun and funny and has a whole lot of heart. It's my favorite kind of book. (Bloomsbury, March 1, 2011)

Lindsey and I met face-to-face for the first time a couple of years ago at an SCBWI conference. And since then, I can't get enough of her. When her husband was looking for a place to practice dentistry, I was like, Oregon is a REALLY GREAT PLACE. Unfortunately, that didn't work out. So, imagine my happiness when she suggested a writing retreat at her parent's vacation home. Yes, please!!

So, this past weekend, we gathered in the beautiful state of Utah. Pictures don't really do it justice, but I took a few while on a walk one day, so might as well share.

I will be honest. It was a bit bittersweet going on this trip. Our dear friend Lisa M. was supposed to be on the flight with me. She was supposed to be going out to dinner with us, and standing around the kitchen, chatting with us. I missed her. But I'm really glad I went. I got some writing done, and we had lots of fun alongside the work. The last night we were there, we went in to Park City and had dinner at an Irish Pub. Becca Fitzpatrick, author of HUSH HUSH, let me have some bites of her soup (it was REALLY good soup)! The beautiful lady sitting next to Lindsey is Rachel Hawkins, author of the HEX HALL series. OH! HEX HALL is out in paperback this week. If you haven't read it, you should buy it - it's so good! I'm REALLY glad I got to meet Becca and Rachel (and Emily Wing Smith, who I somehow failed to get a picture of, dang it). I adored them, and hope I get to hang out with them again someday.

Writing can be lonely. It's hard being inside your own head all of the time. It's so nice to get together with other writers, to brainstorm, to talk shop, to laugh until you cry reading, um, well, I probably shouldn't say. But yeah, it's good. Especially when you reassure each other that you WILL get through the WIP and make it out to the other side. Hopefully.

So now I'm home, trying to finish the revisions on this book I've been working on since October. I am hoping to finish it soon and send it to my agent to see what she thinks. I have about 100 more pages to go through and revise. I can do it, right? RIGHT!? If I close my eyes, and pretend I'm back in Utah with the beautiful scenery and the wonderful friends, I bet I can.